Epiphany

I had to think about when it all started, how I decided to be different.
Last night, I remembered what set myself apart from others.

In my first year of college I met some really great people. Maves is still one of my best friends today. There was another gal who I befriended before Maves. She was such a great person and during our first week, when freshman were being welcomed to school, she wanted to go home. She was from Connecticut and already home sick. We had a great time during that first week of school and I convinced her to stay. Our friendship grew. She was just down the hall from me in the dorm,which  was really great. Then Jeny came to stay with me in the dorm on weekends or during her breaks. If I had class, Ana would be nice enough to hang out with my sister while I was in class. But when I came back to see that they were having so much fun, I became very jealous. I don't know why, but in my jealousy I made the rest of Ana's year at school miserable. I stopped hanging out with her and I probably did some out right mean things.

Anyway, over the years I thought about it every now and again and tried to reason with myself as to why I would do such a mean thing. Then around age 25, I got a second job at a popular retail store and I saw these barrettes that were cursive letter A's. There was a matching purse to go with it and I decided to buy them and send them to her along with a letter apologizing for my ridiculous acts and hoping she would forgive me.

She did. I spoke with her shortly after she got the gifts and she said she wore them out to dinner with her boyfriend and it just so happened that he proposed to her that night. It was a good feeling to know that after all these years, she was still kind enough to forgive me.

When I think back to that time, I remembered that was when I had my epiphany. I decided not to be this crazed jealous person anymore always worried about everyone else and someone who was reactive and mean. If you knew me before I decided to be who I am now, you would notice a difference. But who I am now is who I've made myself be. I'm happy with who I am. I wish others would have epiphanies to allow them to see their own wrongs instead always trying to find wrongs in others. It's a much healthier way of living when you can see what affects your own actions have on others instead of what others are doing.

Peace be with you