Phantom

My baby boy - This is Phantom.
There was a swirl of emotions when Phantom was in my belly. It's hard to wrap your head around having three babies but there wasn't a bone in my body that didn't know I loved him. My belly grew fast which was a hint to the size that Phantom would be. Again, we decided to enduce with Phantom and scheduled his delivery on April 10, 2009. This was one week after Natara's wedding. I was bigger than one could imagine, running around making sure things were getting done and the following day after her wedding, my contractions were even and strong but Phantom was not ready and I was sent home. I had planned on having Leandra there for Phantom's birth so she can experience the event first hand. She's never seen a baby being born and I was allowed to have two people plus Jimmy.  For some reason, my birthing room seemed really big. We were there very early and very tired. Jeny and Leandra came a little later but I was well on my way to the finale. At this point, I felt like a pro with this whole birthing thing so I was pretty relaxed. I knew how the contractions felt like, I knew what the epidural felt like, I knew there would be random nurses coming to check on my cervix.  I was so relaxed and calm about the whole thing, I think the nurses decided to have a party in my room. I didn't mind it really, but when it came time to push I kind of wanted to know that they were paying attention - you know just in case the baby's head pops out. But it really was a fun event. Phantom was the biggest baby of the three coming in at 8 pounds 5 oz. I was swelling everywhere after I delivered Phantom. The swelling didn't subside until almost three weeks later. Phantom was hungry all the time and I meant to breast feed him but I wasn't producing fast enough to get him to calm down so I went with formula and breast milk in the hospital. Eventually he knew the bottle had more to give than I did so he didn't want me anymore. Going home with Phantom and two other small children was fun and then again not so much. I was somewhat worried about Phoenix's transition with the baby because I knew Phyre was really jealous. But to my surprise he was not jealous or needed more attention. Jimmy made it a point to make sure Phoenix was okay. Since I am primary caregiver to the baby, Jimmy knew he wanted to take on the other two and show them the love that I might not be able to give to them in the beginning. It worked out perfectly and I still had some time and energy to spend with Phyre and Phoenix when the baby slept. Phyre wanted to be my little helper.

It was early on that I knew Phantom was going to have eczema. Everything he ate made him break out from head to toe. This is explained in one of my earlier post "A tale of Phantom". But here's a great shot of him before it got bad. He's the most special boy ever!

Phoenix

We always knew we'd have Phoenix, we just didn't know how amazing he would be. Being pregnant with Phoenix was cake. Everything went as it should be and after having Phyre, I decided to enduce Phoenix into the world on January 26, 2007. I wanted to prepare and assure that I wouldn't be in the middle of the mall when my water broke. We arrived at Winnie Palmer, bright eye'd and bushy tailed, excited to meet our son. I had one request, that Phyre be the first to meet her brother. It was important for me to make sure she was included and made to feel that she was important in this family being a big sister. Probably one of the best things that we can remember about the birth of our son was that Papa Kwong was there to meet his grandson/best friend. Everything about Phoenix was what women want from being pregnant and having a child. The ease and normalcy of it all is how birthing a child should go. Because of my previous experience with Phyre and my related herniated disc, we went with an epidural this time. I waited as long as I could before I got it which was about 6-7 centimeters.

It wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be, the needle and all. It went in fine and came out fine. I felt no pain and Phoenix came out with just a peep of a cry, then stopped and looked at everyone in the room. Wide eyed and observant, Phoenix was the best baby I ever had in terms of demeanor. He barely cried, he played and was happy all the time, he learned to crawl and walk by ten months old, and was very receptive to commands. Phoenix is very imaginative and very good with his hands mechanically. He loves his daddy and puppy.

The hardest part of bringing Phoenix into this world was the transition for Phyre from being an only child to a big sister. She didn't like to have to share Mommy and Daddy, not to mention everyone else in the family. It took six weeks for Phyre to settle into the fact that Phoenix wasn't going anywhere. Lots of patience, laughter, and watchful eyes were needed but Phyre is a great big sister now.
Papa Kwong stayed home and watched him until his passing just before Phoenix's first birthday. They were inseparable and loved each other's company. 

Not a day goes by where we don't miss you Papa Kwong. Thank you for everything you did for us and for being there for Phoenix.

My first born

Phyre. Her name really says it all. Words could not explain the emotions one has for their first child. I know for me, being the eldest girl in my family of five children, there was never a moment when I didn't think one day I'd be a mom. It was always going to be, so when we found out we were having a baby, all the emotions and anticipation ran through me like FIRE. I hoped for a boy but I got a girl. At first I was a little sad but after seeing her so many times prior to her birth, she was my baby girl and happiness exudes. Being pregnant with Phyre was a roller coaster because my blood work came back with levels that she may have spina bifida. I had to see a perinatal doctor every month and then every week which was nice because I actually got to see Phyre a lot. She came a week early and on that day, my water broke after shifting in bed, and to the hospital we went. I took my time because I knew it would be a while. I even took a shower and waited to wake up Jimmy when my contractions worsened. I decided not to have any drugs which I regret. It was very hard to endure the pain and push for an hour. When I laid eyes on my little girl for the first time, I thought "Oh my gosh she's really Asian!". Duh, look at her parents. I couldn't get over it but I knew I loved her and I didn't want her to go, but I had to. They needed to clean her and do what hospitals do. That night, I didn't get her back. I waited and waited and no one would tell me where she was or if she was okay. I became nervous and anxious to see my girl. Maves came to my room late and said she had spoken to the doctor and they told her but she was not to tell me what was going on but I made her. Phyre had episodes where should would stop breathing and the reason was unknown. They had to stimulate her to get her to breath again so she was moved the NICU, monitors and all. She stayed in the NICU for a week and I wasn't able to bring her home like normal people do. Instead, Jimmy and I timed our visits with their visitation hours and we'd wake up early to get back to the hospital to be with her. In the end they said it was reflux and that I would have to watch her when she ate to make sure she was still breathing. As you can see, Phyre is fine today.

Losing her second tooth at age 5.

My life is everything because I have my children and Phyre is just the beginning.