Religion?

Back on February 4th of this year, I was sent an email with a short story called "The Egg" (You can read my post on this date, as I have it on my blog). It was very meaningful to me because I related life to it and felt, in many ways, that's how I viewed my faith. I am not a follower of any religion. I was born and raised Catholic and somewhere down the road, I didn't believe everything their religion followed. I went to different kinds of churches to see if I believed in others but the truth was, I don't. I think all religions have something great but none of which are exact.

I don't like to discuss religion because I do not want people to question where my beliefs are by interrogating me against their belief. But "The Egg" keeps coming up in my head and I felt that now would be a good time to write how I feel without discussion.

Recently I've been attending MOPS - Mother's of Preschoolers. It's a social gathering of women at a church to discuss anything but mostly, I think, it's for mutual support of our toddlers. At least that was my idea of it when I went in. MOPS is a spiritual gathering. They pray before and after the meetings and often times discuss how God is in our lives. MOPS had me thinking more about God and thus, more about "The Egg". I believe in God. I know there is someone greater than all of us and He has created everything.

Back when I was taking classes at VCC, I took Mythology as one of my required writing courses. In that course we touch upon that all Myths have a God or Gods and they create a world. The Professor grazed the idea of the Bible being the largest most followed "myth" there is. Now I am not saying she's right but who really knows? I think all religious books have invaluable information for anyone to learn from. Do I think it's the Word of God or other Gods? Could be. But who really knows.

So I choose to follow my own belief. The belief that I am just a learner of our society and that God would want me to do good things for others, for my family and friends, and for myself. That I would teach others to do the same and learn from our mistakes. To be kind, humble, and forgiving (something I'm not so good at).

I have to Thank MOPS for reminding me of all of this. It reminded me to Pray a little more often. To be Thankful for everything I have and don't have. Everything happens for a reason and we are humbled by our experiences in life.

I hope that you have faith, at the very least, in yourself - to learn and mature with every experience and that kindness is the only way to live.

It's Complicated

I was reading over someone's bio and he mentioned that he was "as loyal as they come when it comes to the people he cares about". I find that especially true for me as well but I also know that I'm particularly hard on people when they don't hold their end of the bargain. This has been escalated in recent months where I vowed not to be around people who are negative influences on myself and my family.

My "mother" - Mrs. W. - knows that about me. She said that I have to allow people to be human and make mistakes. At least once, I should be kind enough to give them a second chance. Over a period of time I found myself to be more understanding of human nature but haven't been able to let go of the "mistakes".

It's complicated. I can't explain the immense feeling and connection I have with the people I hold closest to my heart. I wish I could make all of their dreams come true and all of their problems go away. This is what I've had to disconnect with because it's just not reality. I can't do any of those things - so I settle for being someone they can turn to. But what if that relationship gets more complicated by a third party. Someone I don't like. Someone who I know is the complete opposite of making their dreams come true or making their problems go away. They still choose to be involved so who am I to say otherwise. I don't say anything. I support them regardless of my feelings (even though they know how I feel). I'm not really great at hiding how I feel about people. In respect for the people I care about, I choose the events in which we interact, carefully keeping my distance from the people I dislike, because who knows what will come out of my mouth and what that will do to my relationship with the people I care about. Well, this exact situation is what complicates things more, moreso on their end then on my end. I'm keeping my distance away from the disliked person which in turn is preventing me from being with the person I want to spend time with.

So what do I do?

I consulted my other mother on this situation to see what kind of advice she'd give me. She's got the kindest heart in the world so I expected something really kind to come out of her mouth. At first she said, just tell them your not sure if you can make it. But being who I am, I already expressed my feelings in full detail so I couldn't really go that route. She further explained that if it were her, she would go because it is important to be there for the person you care about.

She's right. I don't like pretending. But maybe I have to so I can be that person I promised (to myself) I would be. Do I suppress eveverything I know, suppress what I believe for one night? Maybe.

Until then, Here are some pictures for your enjoyment.