Global Practicum Bulgaria - Day 5

 The last day of the trip was meant to focus on Contemporary Bulgaria. First stop was Kambanite, the Bells Park. It was a cloudy cold day with the smell of rain on the horizons. This unique park was created by the daughter of the former communist head of state, who used this monument to commemorate the UN's 1979 declaration the year of the child. Many countries are represented in the circle of bells, where messages from children representing their nations are recorded on their bells. A sign near the monument's entrance reflects that only children can ring the bells. Before leaving, we took a picture of our group as we all knew this was our last day together.

Next stop, the Museum of Socialist Art. This museum represents sculptures, art, and media from 1944-1989. What is most noteworthy are the sculptures in the garden of the red army soldiers, industrial workers and communist leaders like Lenin and Stalin. The rain started to come down as we navigated the paths of the sculpture garden so I made my way into the art gallery. 

I was still running low on energy. The hope was that the art would help rejuvenate me - I love looking at the brush strokes in the art, feeling the movement of the paint on the canvas, thinking about whether the subject was live  in front of the artist or from memory as the artist painted. But the spark never came. With each new painting, I stood there as I would normally, scrutinizing the colors, brush strokes and and how the colors merge together to create the picture. The joy never came. The energy was still stagnant. I was wilting and apparently it was noticeable. 

Leo checked in on me. I tried to reassure him I was okay. Then Ismael asked

how I was doing. Again, I said I was okay, but Ismael wasn't buying it and he pressed again asking, if am I okay. So I told him I'm not okay. My battery was low and I have no way to recharge it. He sympathized with me and suggested I try to hotel spa and get a massage. Leo also perked up and thought it was a good idea. 

So when we got back to the hotel, and after our Lunch and Learn with Dessy

and Veneta,  Leo and I stopped in at the spa and booked appointments for an afternoon massage. This was a good decision. It was still raining outside and I didn't have it in me to do the graffiti tour. The massage helped me relax enough to be present and give me enough energy to get through dinner without anyone else knowing I was compromised. 

Our last supper together was at a beautiful restaurant called Shtastlivetsa Restaurant - Vitoshka. It served Bulgarian food and Dr. Bieri pre-ordered the traditional pitka, an enormous bread "cake" to share for the table. We also got to see her husband again before we left, which was really nice. He was so gracious to give us his time and knowledge providing the initial tour when we arrived that I was happy to be able to see him and say good-bye as well. Ismael had an idea to provide a gift to Dr. Bieri and all of us agreed, so we presented a spa gift card for Dr. Bieri and her husband during dinner. Along with the gift card, each of us wrote a personalized note that was presented with the gift card. We also created a photobook of the pictures we collected during this practicum that we'll be presenting to her during Immersion weekend. Something she won't be expecting but will be a nice surprise. At least half of our group will be in attendance so it will be nice to see her again with the group to share our appreciation for hosting us with the photobook memoir. 

After eating, a small group of us headed back to the hotel again. Leo, Liv, and I. and Chiso and Ismael followed shortly thereafter. My wick was at its end and I retired for the night. I felt bad for not saying a proper goodbye to Chiso and Ismael since they were following behind us in a separate cab I didn’t say good bye to them in the restaurant. I was so focused on getting to my room and packing that it didn't occur to me how rude I was. Don't fret, I was reminded of my rudeness by Ismael and opted to say good-bye at the airport since we were both leaving early in the morning. The next morning, Brooklyn and I caught a cab together. Rather, Brooklyn let me ride with her in the cab she already smartly reserved for herself. Thank Goodness for smart people who think ahead!  We got to see Leo at the airport while in the security line. Then they both went to their gates and luckily my gate was on the first level where all the food and shopping was so I stationed myself in the middle, bought a coffee and something to eat and waited. While eating and people watching, Ismael arrived and sat with me while I waited for boarding to begin. Then we got to see Josh! He joined in and we shared our last moments at the airport before heading home to the U.S.. 

I was eager to get home. Eager to see Jimmy and my son. Eager to see my puppies. I was able to get a window seat on the way home which allowed me some time to nap. And when I landed at the D.C. airport, customs was a breeze with global entry and I finally felt my muscles relax some. Not completely, I still felt the weight of the week's activities both the physical and social aspects, heavy on my body, but there was a light that told me "just a few more hours". When I finally got to Orlando, it was all I needed to see Jimmy waiting there for me at the end of arrivals, that I could finally melt into him, breathing him in, feeling his warmth, and sighing to myself the relief my body needed. His physical touch is what recharges me and I could feel myself reacting to his presence. I know he knew I needed this too so he didn't hurry me from holding him. Once he could feel the tension leave my body, he took my backpack off my back and my purse from my hands, and walked me down to baggage claim to wait for my luggage. I never have to ask Jimmy to do anything. He always knows what I need by reading my face, my body language, or the tone of my voice when I call his name. He's my recharger. And I am home. 

The reflection of this practicum comes a week later when the stress caused by anxiety had time to leave me and I could revisit the experience with clarity. What I will say is, I would do it again. Even though I have a social anxiety and it completely drains me. The experience being in another country, meeting new people, and learning outweighs anything that I may have described as negatively impacting me. I know the feelings and emotions are temporary. I know I will eventually self regulate. But nothing can surpass the enormity of experiential learning and relationships built from a global practicum. 

 To be continued.