It has been a time

 

It has been a long time since my last post. Lots to catch up on however, I was recently inspired by a new friend that reignited my desire to write, and what a time to do so! A year ago I started down the path of earning a PhD in Global Leadership. I’ve also wanted to earn a terminal degree but I couldn’t decide if it would be a JD, EdD or PhD until I witnessed something curious with the senior leaders I worked with. Those experienced sparked a question that led me to find the perfect program that would help me understand if what I believe, may be backed by evidence. That evidence will eventually be my research that will contribute to the academic community and industry organizations. 

My children are all grown with my youngest entering his senior year so why not use this time to earn a terminal degree that will not only enrich my soul but provide more opportunities to share my experiences. This is just an intro post because I’ve experienced something transformative while pursing my degree. Before I share this experience, I wanted to give a heads up - I’m back.

                 

Today is a good day.

I woke up at 4:30am to prepare for the day. I prepared myself mentally for everything including my baby boy.
By 5am I was packed and driving and surprisingly Phantom was awake for a minute to acknowledge that we were on our way to the hospital.
This journey has been a long one and it's not just my son's journey.

Back when Phantom was a baby he showed very early signs of allergies and eczema. Doctors wanted to dose him with medications that I knew were very harsh. So I opted not to go with what they recommended at the time and chose a natural route. His natural medicines came from California, prescribed by a physician who has a proven record with assisting children like Phantom and he was Chinese. For a little over a year, Phantom was vegan and very accepting to taking medication he didn't really like. But this type of medication isn't covered by insurance so Jimmy and I tried to do this for as long as we could until we couldn't anymore.  At that time we switched to western medicine. All the physicians he saw recommended something. He couldn't undergo sleep studies because his allergy/eczema were too extreme to keep the sensors on him long enough to record results. They wanted me to do this surgery last year and I refused. But after three years of constantly being sick, I've agreed to it. This was not an easy decision but now that it is said and done, I know it is the right one. I know it's common, but when your child has to go through something and they aren't able to understand why - why do I hurt? why do i have to do this? why is it hard to swallow? why can't I go home? , You pause to ask yourself is it really necessary and is there another way.

He was fantastic. Went through it without too much of a fuss. He woke up and looked at me and gave me this face without saying a word. By the time we got to his room, he was talking and reciting his favorite lines from his favorite movie - Real Steal. I knew he was doing well. 

But the best part is, he was able to get a little something in his belly and dosed off to sleep. And for the first time, he's NOT snoring or completely congested where you can hear the mucus as he breaths. He is clear as a bell. 

 To make things even better, everyone here at Arnold Palmer Hospital is absolutely fantastic.

One thing I'm always concerned about is Phantom's dietary needs. His allergen list might be short but those items are in everything we eat. It's in his file here at the hospital so anyone that brings food to his room should know his limitations but I had a visit from the dietician who provided me with menus and options that will meet his needs. Phantom's medicine is also being given by the hospital because I didn't bring it with me. People have brought him toys to play with and my father came to give my boy a balloon.

So remember when I said I was preparing for today and the journey lead me to this moment.

All of what I've kept from my family, I was able to finally tell him everything. He understands why and is in agreement with me. My fear when I was a child that he would do something drastic to right a wrong for his daughter was on point. I think I know that now even moreso as a parent. You would do anything to keep your children safe and when you can't, the only thing you could think of is to make it right. but making it right doesn't mean it's the right decision. As an adult telling my father, we were both in the right place to deliver and take the information with a logical state of mind.

So for Phantom and for me, today is a good day.

He is beautiful. Sound asleep at my side. I can't wait for him to wake up so we can go roam the floors!