My "mother" - Mrs. W. - knows that about me. She said that I have to allow people to be human and make mistakes. At least once, I should be kind enough to give them a second chance. Over a period of time I found myself to be more understanding of human nature but haven't been able to let go of the "mistakes".
It's complicated. I can't explain the immense feeling and connection I have with the people I hold closest to my heart. I wish I could make all of their dreams come true and all of their problems go away. This is what I've had to disconnect with because it's just not reality. I can't do any of those things - so I settle for being someone they can turn to. But what if that relationship gets more complicated by a third party. Someone I don't like. Someone who I know is the complete opposite of making their dreams come true or making their problems go away. They still choose to be involved so who am I to say otherwise. I don't say anything. I support them regardless of my feelings (even though they know how I feel). I'm not really great at hiding how I feel about people. In respect for the people I care about, I choose the events in which we interact, carefully keeping my distance from the people I dislike, because who knows what will come out of my mouth and what that will do to my relationship with the people I care about. Well, this exact situation is what complicates things more, moreso on their end then on my end. I'm keeping my distance away from the disliked person which in turn is preventing me from being with the person I want to spend time with.
So what do I do?
I consulted my other mother on this situation to see what kind of advice she'd give me. She's got the kindest heart in the world so I expected something really kind to come out of her mouth. At first she said, just tell them your not sure if you can make it. But being who I am, I already expressed my feelings in full detail so I couldn't really go that route. She further explained that if it were her, she would go because it is important to be there for the person you care about.
She's right. I don't like pretending. But maybe I have to so I can be that person I promised (to myself) I would be. Do I suppress eveverything I know, suppress what I believe for one night? Maybe.
Until then, Here are some pictures for your enjoyment.
You have to be true to yourself and not compromise your values. By attending certain events with people you don't like doesn't mean you are in support of the person you don't like. It means you are allowing yourself to continue to have a relationship with those you LOVE. Don't let the energy of others affect how you facilitate relationships, you will miss out on a lot in the long run. When they say "Be Kind" "Be the bigger person" it doesn't mean you are condoning negative behavior, it means you have transcended beyond it and accepted the situation (or negative person) for what it is.
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