I really wanted to keep this blog as a photo opportunity for everyone to view my photos. I will keep to that as much as possible but I find myself wanting to write more and more. Today is one of those days where writing makes me feel better.
I've been home for about a year and half taking care of my children, my husband, and our home. It took some getting used to at first because I am a worker, but home-life is a different kind of work. I got to watch my daughter bloom into a very assertive little girl, my son Phoenix - the mechanical genius, and my baby - Phantom - struggle with his never ending allergies and still be such a happy boy. Now is the time that I need to get back to work. I've never stopped looking but it gets considerably harder to gain employment as the job market is overwhelmed with the amount of qualified and over qualified applicants overcrowding the available jobs and making it seemingly impossible to even get your resume looked at. So I nestle into home-life trying to ignore the fact that funds are needed and absorb the wealth of happiness in my children.
This can only take me so far and in my time of quiet, a very seldom experience, I find myself applying to any job that I know I am capable of doing. What I must look at is the cost of daycare for the boys and how it weighs against the amount of possible earnings. It should not be equal. The earnings should outweigh the cost, but by how much? Is a few thousand a year worth going back to work? It is when all that you saved for is turning into emergency.
We are by far, not struggling, but I don't want it to get to a point where we do struggle. I'm afraid to let my children and my husband know the feelings of being homeless or not knowing what tomorrow brings. I've felt that and it wasn't good for however short a time it was, it was my rock bottom and something I will shelter my family from. Again, we are not struggling - I just want to make it to where we don't have to worry anymore.
My beautiful baby, has an ear infection now. His pain makes me very sad for him. To make it worse, he is allergic the medicine that will make it go away. Something I have to find out only after he takes it. So we wait to try another medicine. Something without dyes. It's just an additive to the struggle of the day.
I'm so glad you understand your gift of being able to be home with your kids. Some women would kill for that opportunity. At the same time I understand your need to contribute funds so you don't have that worry on your shoulders. This is one of the reasons why Nick and I have decided to wait for children. You know the story...I know there is no perfect time to have children, I'm not getting any younger, and if I want three I should start soon...but I have faith it'll work out. And the same is true for you. Someone will see what an asset you would be to their company and hire you. It will be right for your family and provide you with the extras that you so deserve.
ReplyDeleteNever worry about being homeless though. That would never happen with the family and friends you've surrounded yourself with. :)